comfort blankets introduction

Today, we begin a new series of talks, and with this series we will be looking at attachments. In each episode we shall explore a different thing that we typically become attached to. But in this introductory episode I want to say a few things about attachment in general.

Why is attachment a problem? Why is it that, on the spiritual path, we learn to become detached? When we become attached to something, of course we have a psychological dependence upon it. That is what attachment means: dependency. And whilst the thing we are attached to is present in our life, there is no problem – we are content, comfortable. At least, we feel we are.

But of course, one day, the thing that we have become attached to might disappear, or cease to exist, and then we suffer. We grieve. We may be angry or depressed; in extreme cases, even suicidal. This is the obvious danger of attachment. But if you look more closely, even whilst the thing that we are attached to is present, there is often the fear of loss. Unless we are one hundred percent certain that the thing that we are attached to will be with us forever, then of course somewhere, perhaps in our unconscious mind, or perhaps more consciously, we will worry that that thing that we are dependent upon will be gone. So even whilst we are apparently satisfied with an attachment, there is often a fear, and the fear is unpleasant.

These are some of the more obvious aspects of attachment. But looking even more deeply into attachment, we see that it is through our attachments that we build an image of ourself. And it is simple to see this. If someone were to ask you to define yourself, you would have to do it in terms of other things: groups of people, perhaps activities that you partake in. There are many ways to define oneself, but they are all in relation to other things or activities – abstract things sometimes, like relationships. This is how we create a self-image, and that self-image is the stuff of the ego. And the ego likes permanence. It likes solidity, even where there is none.

So attachment is really the activity of the ego mind trying to create permanence out of impermanence. And it is fundamentally impossible. Therefore our attachments, ultimately, are all illusions. And it is this living in a world of illusions that leads us to miss reality, to miss life as it really is. So part of our endeavour on the spiritual journey is to drop our attachments.

In the rest of this series of talks, we will be exploring some specific attachments, but try to bear in mind all the while, these general points about attachment and why we want to let go of these dependencies.